Banting Tulang Ayah Muda

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Satu yang saya senangi dalam mengikuti diskusi adalah ketika mendengarkan pengalaman. Sejak kecil saya suka sekali mendengarkan bagaimana orang bercerita pengalamannya. Dari situ saya dapat semacam pola atau ringkasnya salah satu “hukum alam” yang sangat mungkin kita alami di masa yang akan datang. 

Salah satu pengalaman yang saya ikuti di akhir September 2020 ini adalah sharing pengalaman dari Irwan Saputra, seorang lulusan MA dari George Washington University asal dari kota Medan. Irwan hadir sebagai pembicara dalam kegiatan “Jalan-Jalan Virtual” ke-5 yang diadakan oleh RPI English School (kini terintegrasi dalam ‘Bidang Bahasa’), sebuah divisi yang konsen pada peningkatan kapasitas berbahasa Inggris bagi pengurus, anggota dan masyarakat umum. 

JJV ini merupakan acara yang pertama kali diadakan oleh RPI English School di masa Direktur Maghdalena, asal Sumbar, yang kemudian dilanjutkan oleh Direktur Rahmad Hasibuan, asal Medan. Jadi, pengurus kelas Inggris RPI sejauh ini dipimpin oleh orang Sumatera yang provinsinya bertetangga. JJV adalah satu kegiatan selain berbagai acara sharing berbahasa Inggris yang diiniasi RPI baik sendirian maupun bermitra dengan berbagai lembaga dengan menghadirkan pada alumni luar negeri. 

Dilema Ayah Muda

Irwan Saputra adalah seorang ayah muda yang beruntung dapat kesempatan lanjut studi AS. Ketika di sana, dia hadapi dilema yang tidak mudah, antara belajar dan bekerja. Beasiswa yang diperolehnya tentu saja tidak mencukupi jika harus membawa istri dan anaknya, maka ia memilih bekerja pada pekerjaan yang menurutnya “berkontribusi pada bangsa Indonesia”–sebagaimana ultimate goal yang diharapkan oleh pemberi beasiswa. 

Dia bercerita, bagaimana ia yang sebenarnya biasa-biasa saja tapi mendapatkan istri yang sangat menopang studinya. Di semester awal, nilainya jeblok. Kemudian ketika istrinya datang, ia terbantu. Kebetulan, katanya, istrinya juga pernah belajar di luar negeri, bahasa Inggrisnya bagus, dan dapat membantunya dalam tugas kuliah secara teknis–tapi secara konseptual dia yang merumuskannya. 

“Alhamdulillah, saya dapat istri yang pas,” kata Irwan Saputra. Kata “istri yang pas” itu menarik bagi saya. Berarti, ada juga “istri yang tidak pas.” Apanya yang pas, dan apanya yang tidak pas? Yang dimaksud oleh Irwan tentu saja, istri yang dapat membantunya dalam studi sekaligus sebagai kawan dalam menghidupi rumah tangga. Bisa jadi, tidak semua hal itu pas tapi mungkin maksudnya overall relasinya pas. 

Sebagai ayah muda tentu saja dia harus peduli dengan keluarganya. Orang bilang, gelar sarjana atau master itu bisa dicari tapi kedekatan dengan anak itu tidak mudah untuk diperoleh. Orang bisa jadi pintar, terkenal, kaya, dan singkat kata: sukses. Akan tetapi, ketika dia tidak dekat dengan anaknya, efeknya kemudian adalah ketika dia tua tidak lagi anaknya mau dekat dengannya walaupun anaknya tahu bahwa berbakti kepada orang tua itu wajib. Ada semacam jarak antara anak ke ayah ketika waktu kecil sang ayah berjarak dengan anaknya. 

Dilema belajar dan bekerja memang umum sekali dirasakan oleh pelajar yang di dalam dan luar negeri. Sebenarnya baik di dalam maupun di luar sama-sama punya tantangan yang tidak simple. Umumnya kita hanya tahu bahwa sebuah keluarga itu baik-baik saja dari foto yang mereka unggah di medsos, atau dari statusnya. Kita sering tidak tahu apa kondisi terdalam yang dihadapi oleh sebuah keluarga. Semua keluarga–baik miskin atau kaya, sering posting foto keluarga atau jarang posting–punya masalah yang tidak kalah kompleksnya. 

Tapi, terlepas dari semua kompleksitas yang ada, manusia diberi kemampuan untuk menuntaskan masalahnya. “Jika kita gagal, maka yang harus kita ubah bukan tujuannya tapi metodenya,” jelas Irwan. Maksudnya, mereka yang bertujuan untuk sukses–sebutlah meraih master atau doktor–tapi kemudian terkendala di tengah jalan, maka mereka perlu mencari metode baru, planning ABCD, yang relevan bagi masalah tersebut. Goal-nya tetap, tapi method-nya yang berubah. Itu cara adaptif yang saya kira sangat relevan untuk semua orang dan dapat dipakai untuk semua jenis masalah. 

Logika Rezeki

Obrolan soal belajar dan bekerja sesungguhnya tidak terlepas dari rezeki. Keduanya adalah rezeki dalam arti kebaikan. Bagaimana cara dapat keduanya? Tentu kita harus tahu pola yang tersedia di alam ini. Tuhan beri banyak sekali tanda-tanda alam yang dapat kita pikirkan dan manfaatkan agar bisa mencapai yang namanya sukses–di dunia, dan di akhirat, insya Allah

Rezeki belajar dan bekerja sesungguhnya dapat terbuka jika kita mau mempraktikkan apa yang saya sebut sebagai 3H: head, hands, dan heart. Kepala harus kita pakai untuk berpikir, dapat pengetahuan, yang dari situ kita dapat pendalaman. Tangan harus kita gunakan untuk bekerja, dan pada akhirnya harus menemukan sesuatu. Dan, hati harus kita pakai untuk menjadi manusia yang memotivasi dan punya tujuan hidup. Integrasi tiga H ini penting sekali agar berhasil dalam berbagai tujuan hidup. 

Semua orang berhasil mengintegrasikan tiga H itu. Berbagai literatur yang saya baca, termasuk biografi para tokoh, termasuk qashasul anbiya’ (“kisah-kisah para Nabi”) juga mengintegrasikan 3 hal itu. Ketiganya itu merupakan anugerah dari Tuhan yang kalau kita optimalkan maka dapat memberikan efek wow bagi tiap orang. Artinya, semua orang–dari yang beragama sampai tidak beragama–jika memanfaatkan tiga hal itu maka dia akan berhasil. 

Tapi memang, dalam agama punya konsep lainnya, yaitu kesalehan (piety). Tiga hal itu jika dilaksanakan secara konsisten tanpa kesalehan maka akan menjadi pribadi sukses (di dunia) tapi belum tentu di alam akhirat. Maka, agama punya konsep kesalehan, yaitu sikap untuk mengikuti apa yang diperintahkan agama. Agama dalam hal ini menjadi penentu yang mana disebut sebagai pemenang dan kalah, mana yang beruntung dan mana yang merugi. 

Maka, jika dalam sebuah diskusi saya hanya menyebut tiga H itu, hari ini saya ingin menambahkannya dengan kesalehan. Seseorang harus punya kesalehan agar kesuksesan yang dia dapatkan itu dapat memberikan makna tidak hanya di dunia tapi juga di akhirat, di alam yang kita tidak tahu tapi Tuhan memberitahukan bahwa alam itu memang ada dan kita harus percaya seutuhnya. 

Jadi, sesiapa yang ingin berhasil dalam studi (apakah ia seorang ayah muda atau tua), dalam bekerja (masih bawahan atau atasan), atau dalam berbagai aktivitasnya, maka keberhasilan yang harus dia kejar janganlah hanya keberhasilan temporal (seperti sekedar dapat gelar, terkenal, kaya, dst) tapi mereka harus mencari juga keberhasilan yang abadi, yaitu berhasil dan beruntung pada alam yang di sana. Dan itu dapat didapatkan lewat optimalisasi kepala, tangan, hati, ditambah dengan amal saleh. []

*Tulisan ini pernah dimuat di www.yanuardisyukur.com dengan ilustrasi dari Tribun Wow.

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