Kematangan itu Memberi Makna, Memberi Cahaya

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Ketgam. Istimewa

Ada banyak kasus dimana orang terlihat pandai tapi sayangnya tidak matang. Pandai terkait otak, matang terkait emosi. Atau, jangan kita pisah, kita gabungkan saja: matang adalah gabungan dari pikiran dan emosi yang utuh.

Ada orang terkenal, langkahnya di-follow banyak orang. Tapi ketika puncak keterkenalan itu makin tinggi dan terus meninggi, ia pun tak kuasa dan akhirnya memperlihatkan tingkah ketidakmatangan. Awalnya, ia terkesan matang tapi saat ujian hidup datang lambat laun kematangannya jadi hilang.

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Ada juga orang yang biasa-biasa saja, tapi seiring waktu dia berproses dan menjadi matang dalam berbagai tingkatan hidupnya. Dia cenderung hati-hati, bahwa setiap capaian ada jebakannya, dan tiap jebakan potensial untuk menjatuhkan kematangannya.

Jika ada yang bilang “saya lelaki yang matang” maka besar kemungkinan itu kebalikannya. Kematangan terasa geli jika diucapkan. Sebaliknya, kematangan itu dirasakan; orang rasa bahwa kamu matang, dan kematanganmu itu mematangkan orang lain, tanpa harus kamu cerita agar orang lain percaya.

Saya lihat, kita semua memiliki kematangan di sisi sekaligus ketidakmatangan di sisi lainnya. Hebat dalam akademik berarti berarti kamu hebat dalam berinteraksi dengan masyarakat. Pun, jika pengikutmu ratusan atau bahkan ribuan, jutaan, tidak lantas menjadikanmu expert dalam ranah-ranah akademis. Masing-masing punya jalan kematangannya, dan kamu harus tahu dimana kematanganmu dan dimana ketidakmatanganmu.

Tapi satu hal yang penting untuk direnungkan adalah, kematangan itu berproses. Seperti mangga yang “masak pohon”, itu masaknya betul-betul alami, tanpa harus sang pohon berkata bahwa dia telah mematangkan buahnya. Proses, atau bahasa manusiaanya, cobaan, terpaan, dan godaan hidup itulah membuat kita–manusia–jadi matang.

Proses menjadi matang itu juga sifatnya naik dan turun, up and down. Adakalanya kamu matang di depan tapi kamu rapuh di belakang. Adakalanya juga kamu sangat ideal di depan tapi berbalik sekian derajat saat kamu di belakang. Mau salahkan diri, itu tidak bijak, sebab manusia memang begitu dari sananya; kadang mengeluh, kadang lemah, dan seringnya “berkeluh kesah.” Dikasih banyak minta tambah, dikasi sedikit sukanya menggerutu nggak ada syukurnya.

Kematangan mungkin juga butuh sirkel. Bahasa kitanya mungkin begini: sirkel kematangan. Artinya, jika kamu mau matang mungkin kamu harus bergaul dengan sirkel yang matang pula, atau sirkel dimana kamu dapat diasah hingga jadi matang sebenarnya, bukan matang sekadar citra.

Sekarang ini banyak orang mengejar matang citra, tapi bukan matang makna. Citranya luar biasa, mantap, tapi hatinya kering, kosong. Untuk mendapatkan kematangan tampaknya kita harus rajin-rajin bertanya pada hati nurani. Nurani dalam bahasa asalnya artinya “cahaya,” yang berarti jika kematangan itu sama dengan bercahaya maka berdialog dengan nurani sangat penting untuk menjadi pribadi yang matang dan bercahaya.

Depok, 27 November 2022

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